Poor Car Talk joke. Forgiveness, please.
For those who are not in the know, Michael Tiller is an infamous YouTube uploader whose shoddy PowerPoint pseudosimulacra of game shows have gained him the ire and ridicule of anyone who has eyes, ears or a combination of both.
For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, take a peek at this. This is probably an average Michael Tiller work. I’d rather gouge my eyes out.
If you look at the comments of this article, you’ll get to see candid (because MTillz has two speeds: candid/oblivious or dead) responses to a parody video I created of his work, because someone’s gotta put this kid in his place, and I figure satire should be the best way.
So, what are his thoughts to someone giving him honest (yet brutal) criticism of his bullshit?
It was awful, made me sick. He even believes I steal people’s pictures, and I told him the truth last night, and I got BASHED! My projects are much better than that satiric thing. I guess just some people don’t like the way I do my projects, I do what I can. Yeah, it’s best you don’t see that parody. His reasonings are so terrible, I was sick to the stomach. He even went as far as to bad-mouth my projects when I told him the truth.
Someone get this kid a grammar guide. I will admit it, I was very harsh with my criticism of this kid’s work, and here’s why. If you look at the shit I did when I started making my game show fan games, you can tell I was a beginner. I didn’t know how to use my tools and I didn’t have any skills. As I continued to make games, I learned how to use my tools, I learned how to use better tools, and I gained important skills. So, I started with Flash 4, and now I’m proficient with Flash CS4, Photoshop CS4, Final Cut, Amadeus and GarageBand, to name a few. I managed to channel the passion I had for my craft into practical skills. Any criticism I received (and I got a lot of it) was used to created bigger and better things.
MTillz? Not so much.
Here’s a direct letter he sent me via YouTube’s messaging system in regards to my criticism. (MST3K-style comments are in parentheses.)
pacdude, Michael Tiller here.
(You know, since the user name didn’t give it away.)
rjaguar3 has informed me of your parody that you did of Millionaire, which I saw and was very shocked by what I saw, it was absolutely sickening, for unexplained reasons.
(If you got sick for unexplained reasons, then how is that my fault? Perhaps you should explain why you got sick.)
After a conversation with rjaguar3, he told me these were the reasons you believe my projects aren’t so hot
(Aren’t so hot? That’s like saying Snooki isn’t so orange.)
which is what led you to that parody:
1. Sound effects aren’t accurate
(Point 1, swing and a miss. It’s not that your sound effects aren’t accurate, MTillz, but it’s that your sound effects are edited in poorly, are unconvincing and unprofessional.)
2. Using people’s photos from Facebook
(I’m sorry, should I have said Friendster?)
3. Playing the game with subtitles
(Because nothing’s more riveting on a game show than reading.)
4. Using questions all people don’t know
(Again, that’s not the problem. The problem is that you create these videos for an external audience i.e., the world, but write questions that reference the inside of your delusional imagination. Can you see how that’s an issue, fuckwad?)
Let me go ahead and explain these to you, so at least there is some understanding here.
(I’ve seen your grasp on the English language. If you can explain anything to the point of understanding, I’d be impressed.)
1. The sound effects, I try to keep them in accurate positions and use what the show had used. If the sound effects aren’t available, I use something as a substitute in its place.
(I respectfully submit the website of Jay Lewis; specifically, his Game Show Sound Effects archive. Every sound effect from every game show is pretty much here, so I have a hard time believing that the sound effect is unavailable. Fuck your shit.)
2. The people you see in my projects, they’re my real-life friends
(I have a hard time believing that you have real-life friends. If they were your real-life friends, wouldn’t you then bring them to your real-life home and have them record their answers on their real-life computer? Or are you just lying to me to save your sorry ass? I don’t know, take your pick.)
and I make sure ahead of time that it’s all right with them to do that sort of thing.
(How vague. I hope “that sort of thing” is “take pictures of their feet because goddamn do I have a foot fetish.” Or is that off topic, MTillz?)
3. I use subtitles because I do not have a voice converter on my computer.
(Actually, I do. It’s called Voice Candy, and it converts my voice to a robot. However, I don’t think that’s what you mean. I think you mean a voice recorder, and yes you do, because you can record your own voice. I think you’re too stupid/lazy/stupid to find what you need. Skype, anyone?)
I am wanting to use real voices in the future, but cannot do that as of yet.
(What fucking country are you from? “I am wanting to?” Who the hell let you out of middle school? They need to be drawn and quartered.)
4. I remember only one instance when I used inside questions, and that was Blockbusters.
(There is a post on the Game Show Forum, which is behind the member wall, that shows 3 instances thereof, so suck on a bag of farts.)
I since then have learned my lesson and am using certified questions that everyone would know: either written down or researched on the Internet, or if I am using a home game, I use those questions.
(You know, when I made Drop the Bomb, I wrote over 400 original trivia questions. Is it really that hard for you to find a fact and ask a question about it? Then again, you could barely put together a sentence if you had a box of Magnetic Poetry and your hands out of your pants.)
Using the inside questions were not known to me until I was told, and I originally didn’t understand until a trusted friend of mine told me what the problem was.
(Your seemingly impossible ineptitude at basic sentence structure aside, if you can’t realize that a question that mentions a specific part of your life isn’t common knowledge, then either you’re functionally retarded or so self-deluded that you make your own monthly updates on status and projects that no one cares about on YouTube. Oh, wait…)
SInce that point, I have focused on using certified questions.
(Certified by the Association of American Douchenozzles.)
You see, I am diagnosed with Asperger’s, which is a social disability. If you don’t understand what Asperger’s is, I advise you to look it up on Wikipedia.
(Mercy ploy. From the article: “…there is a predilection for adults to self-diagnose it. There are questions about the external validity of the AS diagnosis.” Not to say that you don’t have it, but noting your propensity for exaggeration, I’d like a note from your physician. Plus, your precious Wikipedia article gives notions for treating Asperger Syndrome. Are you following up on those are you accepting what you have as a crutch to ignore other people still?)
Some things for me are difficult to undersand at first, but then when told to me, that’s when I begin to understand it more. If you have any further questions, please let me know.
(Why can’t you take criticism, no matter how biting, hurtful and sarcastic, and channel it to creating a decent and useful project? Why do you insist on creating poorly-created PowerPoint presentations? Why do you disgrace this earth with your putrid nonsense?)
So, that’s his letter. Honestly, if Michael Tiller could channel his energy into making things even remotely better (and maybe using real people’s voice once in a while) then maybe people would stop hating on him. Until that happens (and I predict that Mayan predictions will come true far sooner), I’m going to mock him mercilessly.