Saturday is one of the most valued days of the week, and not because of the atrocaties that is MadTV or, God forbid, Saturday Night Live. No, it is the day that celebrates the American ideals best: sleeping in until 1 PM then, eventually, getting stuff done.
Yes, Saturday has an amazing and well-documented history in this great land. In 1775, George Washington was sitting around on a Saturday morning and said to his mom, "You know, it'd be kinda cool if we tore the chains of tyranny off of our fair land." After permission from his mother, George Washingon called a bunch of his buddies and started the American Revolutionary War.
Saturday in America has many different rituals. For most, the first ritual partaken of is the Rising Up At Or After Noon. This ritual involves sleeping until your body wakes you up, or perhaps if your body wakes you up earlier than that, checking a nearby clock, computer, or TV weatherman, and, if earlier than noon, going back to sleep.
If, perhaps, your body is less forgiving and wakes you up sometime around nine or ten, then the alternative ritual is partaken: the Sitting In Your Pajamas, Eating A Bowl Of Cereal And Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons. The value of this tradition has decreased in recent years as the quality of cartoons has diminished in recent years. In the heyday of modern Saturday morning cartoons, namely, the early-to-mid 90s, the lineup of the five major networks had shows like Animaniacs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Darkwing Duck and Tiny Toon Adventures. These shows were the pinnacle of network television on Saturday Mornings. Nickelodeon ushered in great shows like Rocko's Modern Life and Doug, but as that generation grew up and started sleeping in later, the quality of shows diminished into what most scholars agree is, pure crap.
After these two sacred rituals, the rituals become more localized or specific to family or community. Many celebrate the Let's Clean The House Kids; No, Really, It'll Be Fun ritual, while others partake in the If We Keep Flipping Channels, We're Bound To Find Something tradition. All in all, the Saturday is one of America's pastimes and one which I as an American will not desecrate.
I think I'll clean the "house" now.