Cory "Mecca" Anotado (pacdude) wrote,
Cory "Mecca" Anotado
pacdude

2006 Phillies (And other MLB) Predictions

From ESPN.com's Page 2.

April 14 -- ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" debuts its first installment of a regular feature for the 2006 season called: "Tonight's Titanic Home Run Hit Off of Jose Mesa at Coors Field."

April 21 -- The Phillies re-sign Ugueth Urbina to a 10-year, $150 million contract after Urbina threatens to set general manager Pat Gillick on fire.

April 24 -- Jimmy Rollins singles in Philadelphia's win over the Rockies, extending his consecutive games hitting streak to 55, one short of tying Joe DiMaggio's record. Sadly, his postgame meal is spiked with poison by a clubhouse attendant with ties to the Mafia, and Rollins' streak ends the next day.

May 6 -- Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard hits home runs in his first three at-bats in a victory over the Giants, giving him a league-leading 12 on the season, but strikes out in his final trip to the plate, eliciting hearty boos from the home crowd.

May 15 -- The Phillies issue a formal apology to their fans for somehow forgetting again to acquire any good starting pitchers in the offseason, the franchise's 123rd consecutive year of doing so.

June 25 -- With the Phillies in Boston for an interleague series, Red Sox and Phillies fans get in a huge brawl over who is the most annoying.

July 10 -- Phillies outfielder Bobby Abreu wins the Home Run Derby for the second year in a row and, just like in 2005, decides he's pretty much all homered out for the rest of the season.

August 21 -- A strike by a local beer distributor leaves Wrigley Field without beer for one game, forcing 40,000 Cubs fans to watch a game sober and realize for the first time that they've been watching some pretty awful baseball over the past 100 years.

September 4 -- Manny Ramirez stands awestruck in left field and refuses to move for nearly an hour after his eye catches something sparkly in the Fenway crowd.

September 9 -- Mets closer Billy Wagner receives a standing ovation from Shea Stadium fans when he hits 100 mph on the radar gun in the ninth inning of a game against the Dodgers. Unfortunately, the ball is hit at 168 mph over the right field wall by J.D. Drew for a grand slam, but Wagner's velocity is no less impressive.

September 18 -- White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski creates a MySpace page in hopes of getting some friends for the first time in his life.

October 1 -- Barry Bonds angrily denies a report on BarryBonds.com that he took steroids and threatens to sue the author of the site for libel.
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